jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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