i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I have feelings that need drinking.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
