don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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