What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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