I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
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And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
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Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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