Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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