atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
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