So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
OPIZZABONMYDICK
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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