How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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