Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
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