is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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