Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
