i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
