I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
