Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
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