My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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