I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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