i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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