Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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