I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
