you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
