i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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