For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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