I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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