playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
two words: eviction party
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
