The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize