i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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