i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
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Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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