Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
