Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
