so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
