i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
