that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
