i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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