Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
