Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings

(1-214): View more from Texas

dont u have athletes foot?

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.

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(562): View more from California

...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are

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(770): View more from Georgia

separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Sucks about the cops last night

(848): View more from New Jersey

to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.

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(432): View more from Texas

There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...

(917): View more from New York City

Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.

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