Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
