I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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