soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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