Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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