yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
