I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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