I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Sext me about skeletons
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
