if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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