ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
