what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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