I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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