THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
