i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
