Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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