I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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