my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
i need some magic done to my vagina
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
