i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize