I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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