We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
pray to the hookup gods
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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