it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
this will be a night to untag.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
