She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
