I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize