ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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