I looked at my own cervix.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
