she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
