you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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