We won't sleep together?
and she was petting her beer can
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize