I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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